My personal opinion on Bully

The Article

"Something's not quite right" published in The Sunday Star by Seah Chiang Nee.
Jun 25, 2006

taken from http://www.littlespeck.com/content/people/CTrendsPeople-060625.htm
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SINGAPOREANS have been shocked by a widely circulated video of a teenage schoolgirl being brutally beaten by three older girls.
This came just as a survey showed that bullying in schools has reached an epidemic level, with 70% of primary and secondary students reporting being physically abused at some time or other. If non-physical harassment is included, bullying is felt by nine-tenth of all students, which means that the bullies are themselves also being bullied.In the four-and-a-half-minute clip, the attackers, who were slightly older, were seen viciously kicking and punching the 13-year-old girl after removing her shirt. Like many such cases, the dispute was over boys.
The beating, which happened in April, was blatantly bold, with the assailants daring to film it and probably distribute the video.
Surprisingly, the police, who have a low tolerance of public violence, have said they will not take action without the victim making a report, although the identity of the assailants is known. This is the latest - and more serious - case of juvenile delinquency that has caught the country by surprise.
In recent years, cases of bullying, including assaults, in schools have been inexplicably rising, with a few even involving teachers who complain that today's students are generally harder to discipline. The Education Ministry considers it serious enough to launch a Bully Free Week to encourage victims to report bullying. Most are too afraid to do so.Educators this week held a two-day meeting on the subject to help them understand it better.
The serious cases often take place in "neighbourhood" schools, which have more than their share of children from poor or broken homes where parental care is low. Many troublemakers are girls.Among the 4,000 students surveyed, some 2,800 or 70% said they had been victims of physical acts such as kicking, hitting, hair-pulling or pushing that often happened in the classroom, canteen or in the toilet.Discipline among Singaporean youths has undoubtedly dropped, but the situation is probably nowhere as serious as the survey statistics imply.For one thing, violent assaults such as the video case are few and the use of weapons is even more rare. Most cases of bullying involve teasing, name-calling or harassment, which may be described as horseplay elsewhere. They are a far cry from the violence in the United States or Japan.Nevertheless, it is a concern because research has shown that habitual bullies have a greater chance of growing up into violent adults or criminals. Why are teens becoming so intolerant or flare up so easily? Some attribute it to the high pressure of a competitive exam system (reforms are being implemented) and high parental expectations. But most acts of bullying stem from peer or boy-girl conflicts that have little to do with national issues or even considerations of right or wrong.It is caused by a clique system that forces conformity, in which a group bands together to ensure individual compliance. The victims are often loners who refuse to cooperate or who opt to remain apart. The methods used can range from slaps to vandalising schoolbooks or bags and, of course, cyber-threats.
A world report has said this high-tech city has the highest incidence of Internet bullying among kids in any country outside the US.It entails sending insults, pornographic images and threats of bodily harm. "Singapore has far more cases than anyone would have expected," says Wired Safety, which monitors 76 countries. On a per capita basis, it had received far more reports of "cyber-bullying" from Singapore (except the US), with 80 reports last year.
"Having been to Singapore and seen how well-behaved the children are, the results came as quite a shock," said Parry Aftab, its Washington-based executive director.
Others use cell-phone SMS to harass classmates. Bullying is not the only concern; another is teenage sexual promiscuity. Earlier this year, a 19-year-old Polytechnic girl videotaped herself making love with her boyfriend. The video was stolen by someone who uploaded it on the Web, and it became the most sought after item in the world's search engines.
Despite these shortcomings, the new generation of Singaporeans is largely rational and well behaved, with most teens seriously pursuing their studies and getting good results.
Bad teenage elements, however, merely mirror the worst part of an ill-tempered adult world where road rage and marital violence are a frequent phenomenon, and an unintentional stare can result in a severe beating for the innocent.
For Singaporeans young and old, the lifestyle is one of high cost and fast pace, where competition starts from kindergarten (age six) to university and on to the workplace. The leaders often remind them that the world doesn't owe them a living. The outcome is an increasing number of people with shorter tempers and flying fists.
At last count, road rage cases had reached 96 a year, which resulted in stricter punishment for serious offenders - caning, a maximum of a year's jail plus a S$1,000 fine. Singapore's tight living space and over-crowdedness are also helping to create an exaggerated sense of being squeezed or aggrieved by others.
A youth social worker, Carol Balhetchet, is concerned by youths who turn to bullying as a means of managing their problems or merely passing time.
A more serious letter warns: "If physical bullying continues, we will wake up one day to find ourselves having to search students for hidden weapons at the school door."

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The Commentary

I came across this outdated but relevant to current issue article, "Something's not quite right", online and I suddenly had an urge to share my experiences and personal opinions with all of you that are reading out there.

The article is mainly focusing about Singapore's teenage issue concerning the increasing bully cases in schools. There is a report on a case of bully that shook nationwide then. This is actually very common if you are a student in a highly competitive school, where bullies are far worse, frightening, and definitely more disturbing than normal school.

Bully comes in many different forms, mostly are physically and psychologically. Bullying by other people occurs when they harrass you consistenly and consciously. in other words, bullies actually know what they are doing and often, even though they know by right that it is wrong. Physical bully is mostly punching or hair-pulling, while psychological bully is often name-calling or teasing. Bully seems minor as adult thinks that it is just a bit of rough play. However, it is actually very serious as the effect it has upon the victims can be deathly. Some of the effects are losing self-confidence and becoming very emotional all the time.

The three girls that commited these inhumane acts towards their fellow schoolmate were very selfish and immoral of them. Moreover, the victim was their junior. Are not they a baunch of cowards and losers, ganging on a victim who was physically and mentally weaker than them? Their immature and unthoughtful actions surprised and left the whole country flabbergasted.

I was once a bully. When I was young, I often resort to fighting when I was offended in some way, even for an unreasonable reason such as a boy cutted my queue. I made up stories to friends and classmates to shun the poor boy out of vengence and my side-kicks an I often team up to tease or even beat him up when he was alone. I remembered crystal clear that he had low-self esteem not long after, and tend to become red-headed occasionally at every small little things. Now thinking back, I regretted and felt shameful of my meanful and thoughtless actions.

After I came to Singapore, ironically, I was able to witness one of my close friend became an easy prey of bully. He used to be a cheerful and worried-free boy, but after entering one of the prestigious secondary school on Singapore, and thanks to the consistent name-calling and humiliating, he became a totally different person. Unfortunately, after many complains to the teachers by his fellow classmates, the deal was still undone. In fact, it got worse. Even now, currently in Secondary 3, he became emotionally weak and his grades were decreasing evidently. His results got a full effect from being bully, so did his live.

Bully is actually very hard to avoid, 90% of the pupils surveyed said that they were bullied before, making a person who was bullied before to be a bully later too. Even when measures were taken by the schools or parents to promote anti-bully practices in the UK, bully cases had actually increased and got worse. It becomes a phenomenom, and it is increasing rapidly. We can only hope for friends and family to be more understanding with the victims, and not making him feel even more inferior that he already felt.

Please, if you are a bully, please remember the golden rule of ethic:
"Do not do unto others as you would expect they should do unto you"